mid-workout, I space out toward the mirror in front of me.
a woman enters my peripheral, but I’m staring at the space next to her by a safe margin; phew.
an awkward moment circumvented, but I still want chocolate -
the chocolate I was thinking of buying before my workout.
an extra 5 - no, possibly 7.83 more minutes for a paltry bar of chocolate?
yes, I weighed the effort and the reward.
as usual, the activation energy for this activity towered my reserves.
gym to home is a blur. I still want dessert.
i cooked - applaud me. Oats and minced chicken,
but you would’ve thought it to be porridge.
it’s pure genius that I cooked the chicken exactly to the colour of the burnt oats.
intentional, artful, genius. How are you going to refute that anyway?
dinner, coffee, and DESSERT. I WANT DESSERT.
i simultaneously heat my dinner and make my french press coffee.
peak efficiency, like the scheduling algorithm for a multicore operating system -
is what I think to myself gazing at the tens of utensils in the sink I used to make the bloody oats.
not to mention the spillage stains on the kitchen counter.
phone out, I look for the cheapest sweet item.
yeah, I already spent too much today.
apple pie’s on an offer but the clock strikes seven and the offer vanishes.
signs from the universe; maybe I shouldn’t eat more, spend more.
I turn the fan on because I’ve been ignoring the heat too long
to focus on optimizing for the best value dessert.
heavy rain transpires and I couldn’t force the poor delivery person through the storm.
signs from the universe; maybe I shouldn’t eat more, spen- no wait; it’s just the sound of the fan.
i’ve been deciding too long, just order already.
brownie from a well-respected bakery. It ought to be good, don’t think.
shower, finally.
~! A wave of loneliness hits. !~
i feel a physical drainage of life from my brain.
what does it take to be able to connect with others.
is there no one.
why is there a cubicle surrounding my sole existence.
i am longing…
gotta write this down, write this down -
mid-workout, I space out tow ~~~~~ !!!
